anxious!

My due date is now a mere 18 days away and it could really happen at any time! I'm excited and nervous and generally I have an undercurrent of excitement, nervousness and anxiety running through me at all times. It's always in the back of my mind - the question of "Oh my....what is this pain - is this a contraction?" with every ache and pain. However, the baby hasn't dropped yet (I don't think), so I don't think it's happening any time soon. My bowels have become a little looser though (I know T.M.I), but I can blame that on eating Christmas food maybe. Our next doctor's appointment is on Wednesday and it's the big 37 week appointment that I have been waiting for. We will get to see it, and they will do a vaginal exam, so I will know if I'm dilated or anything. The non-stress test will happen again and that will tell me if I am having any contractions, which as of last week I was not. So....these days I really look forward to going to the doctor! We've been going to dinner and going on dates - 2 movies and the ballet (Nutcracker - magical) as to take advantage of the fact that I am in NYC and I don't have to work right now, so that is an added bonus. Fingers crossed! I'd like to make it to close to the due date. I want a 2009 baby - and I like the idea of Jan 20th...inauguration day! That would be cool.

a perfectly timed break

I feel VERY lucky that the company I work for allows us all the time off between Christmas and New Year's. It's been great in the past to travel home (see last post) but this time it's great because I can get some rest and go to movies and to dinner and take a lot of naps. I am starting to feel this weight that I am carrying around, and it's heavy - so it's a real treat to be able to be home and take naps and rest and do what I want! I can't believe this baby is going to come out soon. Still so surreal! I am starting to realize why people say things like "I can't wait to get this baby out of me" etc....I always felt like that is a mean thing to say and kind of harsh, and I still don't think I will ever say it, but I am slowly realizing why it's said. And I realize it at night when every night is more uncomfortable than the last, to the point that I have recently said that I hate sleeping. Naps are ok, but trying to be comfortable for 8+hours is impossible and kind of torturous! I can't wait to sleep on my back again. And I can't wait to meet the baby, but I still enjoy knowing that it's safe inside of me!

Christmas in the US

I'm Canadian, and I usually spend Xmas with my mom and dad and brother, but this year marked the 2nd time ever that I was not able to be with them! Being that I'm due in 3 weeks, flying to a remote town in Saskatchewan that is over an hour away from a hospital is not a good idea. Plus, I think some airlines don't even let you fly when you're within 30 days of your due date. I can see a lot of people lying about that though. It's really nice to be here in NY though. We spent xmas eve with my husband's aunt in NJ, and it was a mere 2 hour drive, and then we went to Long Island to his parent's house. It was many more people than I am used to, but a really nice and festive time with a big family. There were 2 young kids there too - our nephew/godson AJ who is about 15 months, and his cousin who is near the same age. EVERYONE was like "go to dinner now when you still can" and dispensing all sort of random advice. It was funny to hear their opinions on certain things, like epidurals etc. But the dinner thing is good advice and we went out yesterday to see Milk, which was amazing, and tonight we're going to see the Nutcracker, which is one of my xmas presents from my husband. I've never seen it and I look forward to it! Tomorrow I'm hoping for another movie too!

an early family change

On Monday, we had to take our other cat, Ravioli to the vet as he had been losing weight and coughing and generally not doing well. Sadly he was suffering from Lymphoma, an enlarged spleen, fluid in his lungs and a host of other stuff...he wasn't doing well at all, and the doctor said he wouldn't have much time left and would go further downhill fast, So....my husband made the tough decision to put him down, as there was no way to tell if he was comfortable or not and he would have just gone severly downhill and it would have been terribly sad to watch and worse for him. It was really sad, but I think he made the right decision. Cats are so hard to judge as they keep their feelings to themselves and when they start acting sick, they are often on their last legs. Ravioli had been with my husband for 10 years, so it was REALLY hard to say goodbye and still is. He was a real trooper about it and we will miss our beloved cat.

how did the classes go?

I really enjoyed our birth classes, and I think my husband did too. They were super informative. I was really worried about 2 days in a row of 7.5 hours each, and worried about being bored/falling asleep, etc, but there really wasn't a dull moment. We covered it all and watched movies of many births. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday and I now have a lot of questions for my doctors in relation to the kind of birth I would like to have.....natural. I've known this all along but the classes solidified a couple of things for me. Mainly, that I don't wish to have an epidural. It seems scary and I think the risks outweigh the benefits, so I really don't want one. I would like to ask our doctors about fetal monitoring, birthing positions, laboring positions, and many other topics that I wouldn't have know to ask had it not been for the classes! I just really hope I like the answers!

birth classes!!!

This is our birth class weekend! My husband is NOT looking forward to 2 intensive days taking up our weekend, but I am looking forward to getting them done! Everyone asks me if I'm ready to have this baby, and my answer lately has been "not until I get these classes taken!" I'm quite glad we'll be getting them over with and I hope we learn some good stuff!

ankles and feet

Yikes! My ankles are starting to swell! Slowly but surely I can see them getting bigger. About a week or so I started wearing my hubby's socks since they're all old and worn out and baggy, as when I wore mine, I got an elastic line that looked like I was cutting off my circulation. Whoops. I think it's going to be so weird when they get giant. I've seen pregnant friends ankles and they can look like elephantiasis! Oh, and my feet are starting to hurt after not much walking. I guess this is all related, plus the fact that they are carrying about 30 extra pounds at this point. Oh, and I took off my engagement ring earlier this week....the wedding ring doesn't have much room either. Let's just hope my shoes still fit me for a while longer. In this weather, I don't think wearing flip flips is an option.

sleep?

Every night it gets harder and harder to sleep, and that's kind of my only complaint! About 2 weeks ago it started getting uncomfortable. I just keep waking up many times, and when I wake up, I am wide awake - which makes it harder to get back to sleep. My back also gets a little sore and so does most of my body. I sleep with a tempurpedic pillow, which rules, and I have a pillow between my knees. I tried a pillow throne which was recommended by a friend, but I think I'm just so used to being on my side, that I'm paranoid about being on my back in any way - even propped up. Usually when I wake up, I try to drink water, since I know I always need it - BUT I stopped doing that since guess what - it makes me pee! So, not drinking water at night is helping a bit and allowing me to wake up less, but I think this is just the way it's going to be for the next few weeks! I don't mind so much since I only have 2.5 days left of work before our xmas break, and that means lots of naps. I don't seem to have a comfort problem when I nap for some reason!

new arrivals!

Yay! our stroller arrived - well, actually it's a car seat and frame. We got a Graco snug-ride in "Milan" design, which seems to be one of the most top rated car seats around. We'll get a real stroller too at some point, but since we're having a winter baby, I think this will be the cosiest initially.

Also in the house is the gorgeous bassinett my friends Dawn & Josh are lending us. Their adorable baby Trixie has recently moved into her crib, and we get to use this now. It's really stylish, and is the bassinet version of my dream crib!

love and pain

DAMN this baby kicks HARD! Last night I was actually in pain and kind of freaked out by the strong kicks and movement I was feeling. I was like WHAT is the baby DOING? It chilled out a big, but I guess it's just getting bigger and stronger and has less room to move, so I am feeling it more - but it was weird. Maybe it was something I ate? Other than the strong kicks at night, I am also having more sleeping issues. I sleep well for the first few hours, and then I wake up, thinking that I must have slept through the night, but I glance at the clock and it's only 2:30am....argh! Then I toss and turn more for another 6 hours....Pillow between the knees, pillow under the belly, pillow under my head, pillow over my head - I'll be VERY happy when I can sleep on my back again!

I also am starting to feel like I almost 35 weeks pregnant this week. Yesterday I was feeling some pain in my ligaments after only walking about 2 blocks, and every time I get up from a chair I feel 95 years old. Actually i feel kind of similar to before I lost a bunch weight a few years ago....a little icky and achey! I am not at the point yet where I am saying "I can't wait to get this baby out of me" like some pregnant people I've come across....and frankly I can't ever see myself saying that. It seems harsh and mean. I feel like this baby is currently in the safest place it can ever be - don't get me wrong, I don't want to keep it in here forever, but once it's out - I have to share it, and having it in here and feeling it move is a warm, fuzzy and loving feeling that I will be sad to be done with.

pS> I think the image i've included is totally fake...it seems to be a pretty famous internet image. I call bullshit.

slow down lady!

That is me speaking to myself! I am generally a fast walker. I'm one of those people who has to walk faster than the person in front of them. HOWEVER - it's time that I slow down. A) I waddle and B) my ligaments get sore if I go to fast. I keep starting off fast and having to remind myself that I am nearing 34 weeks of pregnancy and I must go slower! It's funny though. I am amused at myself often. I am usually running late to places, so at least now I have a good excuse - "hey! I'm pregnant!". Oh, and in the last 24 hours, three people have told me that I'm glowing. hmmmmm....am I?

Predictions

In the last week or so, people have started predicting the sex of our child. Mostly people I know, but today a total stranger! I was walking to the fruit stand to get my daily banana and this guy yelled out "it's going to be a boy". In typical NYC fashion, I had my headphones on and chose to ignore him. I also wasn't 100% sure he was talking to me! I had to go by him again to get to work, and he sort of stopped me and said "I think you're having a boy" and I said "I don't know!" and he repeated himself and I smiled and told him I would remember his prediction when the time came. A fellow I work with also predicted a boy and said "I'm never wrong". So......I wonder! They have a 50/50 chance, right? I REALLY like the name we have picked for a girl, so I am leaning towards that as a preference, but I'm trying to not have a preference because I don't want to be disappointed! Our boys name is good too, but since I was 12 when my brother was born, I feel like I saw a boy being raised so now I would like to get to watch a girl and buy cute dresses and frilly clothes, etc - but if it's a boy they have cute stuff too - just not as cute!

cats

We have two lovely cats. One named Ravioli, and the other named Slash (pictured). We've often wondered if they would start to sense my pregnancy and act weird, or if they would just start hating us. So far nothing has happened, but one of them is sick and it's stressing me out a bit. On Wednesday am, there was a big cat poop in my closet which I thought was one of them sensing the baby and acting out, but sadly I was wrong. Our big fat lovable cat Slash is sick. We were away from Wednesday night to Friday night and when we got home, there was puke and poop in many places, including our bed. I washed our bedding and the cleanup was fine, but since we had been away, we didn't know if he was eating or drinking or peeing or pooping or what. We took him to the vet on Saturday am, and they realized that he was horribly impacted with poop. They sedated him and took it out, and upon xraying, they had some other concerns. 1) Maybe he has asthma or 2) maybe he has a heart condition. Ugh. Anyway - after we brought him home I thought he would bounce right back and start eating and drinking as soon as the sedation wore off, but no dice. He drank a bit, but hasn't eaten. So...he's going back today for some fluids and discussion about the next step. I hope after he gets some fluids and maybe the vitamins etc that are included that he will bounce back. Fingers are crossed. It's crazy how upsetting it is, and it makes me even more concerned for baby's arrival. If I'm this concerned about a cat, what state will I be in when I have a sick baby? That's what my husband asked me, and I told him that doctor's know a LOT more about babies than cats....so....hopefully I will remember that some day!

PS> I'm 33 weeks!

PPS> We have the newborn care class tonight!