it's my due date and i'll cry if i want to!

Just kidding! No tears over here. I'm pretty peachy actually! The only thing slightly annoying is trying to explain the wonders of pregnancy to many people who think "due date" literally means that I am having my baby today...like somehow my body is on a strict 40 week gestational calendar - which it's not! I keep throwing out the "well, only 3-5% of women give birth on their due date" statistic, which probably makes me sound like a bitchy know-it-all. Oops. But I guess I would be saying the same thing to someone in my shoes - at least prior to this experience. Now I am much more educated about the process, and know that the TV version of birth that we're all used to is WAY off! 

Anyway, we went to the doctor yesterday and I am 1cm dilated and 25% effaced, so things have progressed since last week when the only news was that my cervix was "soft", so I am pleased. Our next appt. is on Tuesday - if we make it until then! My only slight debate is if today will be my last day of work or not. I always told myself I wouldn't work past my due date, but now that it's here and I still feel good and I have no baby, I worry that it's going to be 2 weeks late, and I'll be sitting at home for those 2 weeks wasting my maternity leave when I could continue working and have that extra time at the end with my baby. But, I don't have much left to do here - my temporary replacement is here and working, so  I might be bored here too! At least Monday is a holiday, so I guess I will say my goodbyes today and then play it by ear, with the most likely scenario being that I won't be here on Tuesday.....or I could come in after the doctor's appt if she says I'm still only 1cm. Decisions decisions! 

"the farm" and the books

We hired our doula (yay!), and she recommended a couple of books by Ina May Gaskin, a super-legendary midwife who also has an operation in Tennessee called "The Farm". It's a commune of sorts...although that's really not the right word for it...really a community with a giant birthing center and a small town where people live and work. People go there to give birth and it sounds like an amazing place. The have some crazy impressive statistics...They say less than 2% of their births result in c-sections, and it's rare that things like forceps and vaccuums are used...see the link for more. And these I believe, are all natural births! She has 2 books, and I'm 1/3 of the way through "Ina May's Guide To Childbirth". The first part of the book is comprised of birth stories, which I LOVE and I am learning a lot from them. Mainly, that when I feel like things are starting to happen, I need to 1) sleep and 2) walk. I can't wait to read her other book, which is quite legendary - "Spiritual Midwifery". Some of the stuff in these books is a little, well, earthy and hippy dippy and a little odd, but it's nonetheless inspirational. I have been trying to go to bed earlier, but the book is so interesting that it's hard to put it down! I'm not saying I'm ready to go to TN to give birth, but it's nice to know that there are many people out there that believe in giving birth the natural way, which I hope to do!

will this be the week?

My estimated due date is on FRIDAY! Yippee! I have been waiting to get here for 9 months, and although I know that only 3-5% of women actually give birth on their due dates, it feels good to almost be here. I still feel ok, which I am surprised at, but at night I feel like crap. I ate so much last night that I was so uncomfortable and I woke up at 5am and vurped (burp and a bit of vomit comes up). GROSS. I really feel like a whale. It's so hard to merely move from one side to the other, an ordeal if you will. I haven't considered kicking my husband out of bed yet, but it might come to that soon! I don't plan on taking any extreme measures and drinking castor oil, or trying any of the old wives tales quite yet, but I do plan on eating some Indian food on Friday night! I also have some red raspberry leaf tea, which is supposed to help, but I think I am a little scared to drink it. I want to let the baby choose it's own due date, but I want to meet it and be a mom soon too!

losing faith in humanity

Today's commute really took the cake. As usual I got on the last car of the L train and just my luck, it wasn't packed and a woman was getting up from one of the tiny seats at the end. I was psyched. I was then totally and completely cut off by a hasidic man. I mean c'mon! I was wearing a bright red jacket and SO obviously hugely pregnant. I was upset about this, but not so much because I really wanted to sit down, but really because every time this happens to me, I lose a little faith in humanity. Today was extra unsettling, but I was just sad that people can be so rude and inconsiderate. Thankfully a man on the bench seats offered his seat up for me, and I was grateful, but I spent the rest of my ride stewing and I REALLY wanted to say something to the man, but I just couldn't do it. Taking the subway is something I won't miss when I go on maternity leave!

the glider

Our glider finally arrived today after much online shopping and pricing and deciding and poll-taking and then waiting. It's HUGE. Our plan was to put it in our living room, since we don't really have a baby room. The baby will be in our bedroom for a while, and then MAYBE move into our spare room, which is now an office. I was envisioning a calm living room environment, maybe with some TV watching while feeding on the glider, but the thing feels like the giant chair at Universal studios! My husband spent the day building a "comfortable environment" in our spare room, which I mentioned this morning after I said I would be "ok" with it in the spare room if such a thing were to exist in there, and now it does! He rules. So....we've got it in here, it's a nice corner and everyone is happy! The only problem is that the crib, which is still in the box since we won't be using it for a few months is now wrapped in plastic outside, and of course I worry that the drastic temperature changes we've been having in NYC will cause it to bend and break....especially since we're to get a snowstorm tomorrow. We shall see...maybe it will be fine out there. Anyway - the glider is the second to last piece of this puzzle. What's the last piece, you ask? THE BABY! WHICH IS DUE IN 1 WEEK! YAY!

Doula

After taking our classes at Real Birth, it became evident to us that our goal of achieving a natural birth might be more likely if we had an additional, experienced support person by our side during labor and delivery. AKA a DOULA. I mean in addition to the Ob/Gyn or nursing staff. I like to think of it as a hired friend actually. We're in the process of talking to a couple of them, and their prices range wildly, due to experience I think. The official D.O.N.A website has been useful too. We meet one more on Wednesday night and then will hopefully make a decision either way. I think having someone there to help relax me and use their bag of tricks to manage the pain would be smart. I like the idea of a doula too. It's a good way of thinking and our doctors seem to be ok with us using one also, which is good. They don't interact too much with the doctors - they are there to interact with us and to help us make knowledgeable decisions about our choices and care. I will keep you posted!

Patience

I think we're pretty much ready to have this kid! All supplies are in the house, and our brains are in parent mode. We've taken the classes, we've watched the videos, we've bought the stuff and we feel quite ready to go! I don't know what it feels like for my body to be ready, but the baby seems pretty cosy in there and is still kicking away and moving around and hasn't - to the best of my knowledge - "dropped" yet. Mucus plug is still intact and there haven't really been any signs that this will happen soon. So.....it's just a waiting game! The due date is 11 days away still, but that date is so vague that I don't really take it to heart. Apparently only 5% of babies are actually born on their due dates. First babies are usually late, but all my friends have been early, so who knows! I'm ready for this to happen though and I am exercising great patience.