sloth

I've been feeling really unhealthy lately. I've been eating kind of badly. Not so much during the day at work, but when I get home. I have no time to grocery shop, therefore we have no food, therefore we order in. No matter how often you order in, it feels like a treat for some reason. Maybe that's left over from childhood, when 98% of my meals were at the kitchen table with my family. I need to feel better. I am thinking about doing a 3 day juice cleanse to get started, but I need to check to make sure it's ok with breastfeeding. I'm sure it is...oh, and it's really crazily expensive. But as a friend who is also considering the same cleanse said, "maybe the high cost incentivises" you to do it! Still, I have better things to spend my money on, like groceries! Haha.

I am going to take some steps to feel better. I'm going to grocery shop more. When I shop, I'm also going to buy ingredients to make at least 2 meals at home. That doesn't count easy things like spaghetti. These would be a few more detailed meals with say 5 ingredients or so. Maybe something I can put in the freezer. Oh, and salads. Johnny and I used to eat salads all the time and we stopped. Honestly I think we stopped because I don't like washing lettuce. I also don't like the chemical taste from cut up salad in a bag. I think I will buy romaine leaves and then just wash and cut enough for 2 days worth of salads. Another thing I will do is walk a little further for my lunch. I go about a block, 2 at the most. I'm going to go further. It's good exercise mainly, but it's good to clear your head and get fresh air. Angus is SO mobile and before I know it he's going to be running into traffic, so I need to get in shape and feel good so I cam keep up with him!

water + poop

I can't seem to get enough water. I am consistently constipated (TMI, sorry) no matter how much water I drink. I realized the other day, that I have hardly been eating any fruit either. Right after Angus was born I was eating a lot of berries, but in the last month I maybe ate a few bananas and that's it. Whoops. Hopefully if I add a ton of fruit back into my diet, and continue drinking as much water as possible this problem will soon be alleviated. Angus is taking all my water from me and I guess I'm not replacing it or getting enough fiber.

Speaking of poop, his was green 4/5 times for about 10 days. It ranged in tones, sometimes dark green, and sometimes bright green like pesto. A few times it even had some streaks of blood in it...VERY scary. Very odd. Doctors said not to worry about either thing (well, to call them if the blood was consistent), but I did my own research and found that the blood may be caused by a lactose intolerance. So, I cut out dairy...bummer...actually it hasn't been too bad at all. I really like almond milk, and surely not eating cheese will help me lose weight! The good news is that his poop is now normal! Coincidence? I think not. I will be sure to mention this at our next appointment!

my weight

I have been overweight for years. Not obese, but kinda "chunky" I guess you'd say. A few years ago I lost 30 pounds on weight watchers, and then gained about 15 back, which is where I was pre-pregnancy. During my pregnancy I gained about 35 pounds. Right after I gave birth I lost 25 of that very quickly, and now I need to lose just under 10 to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and then I'd like to lose some more. I was hoping that breast-feeding would take it all way like magic, but that doesn't work if you choose to eat whatever you want, instead of eating normally and healthfully. This last week I made some changes in my diet and am making a conscious effort to make smart choices, and hopefully when I go back to work, I will at least be at my pre-pregnancy weight. Wish me luck!

weight......wait!

It's kinda weird when suddenly you are told that you can't be on a diet anymore, and since I was on one (weight watchers( for like 5 years, it was like woo hoo! PARTY TIME! But now that I have creeped up to near my pre-weight watchers weight loss number, I am getting a little freaked. I know I'm pregnant and I am supposed to gain weight, and I think I am actually doing well, but I feel like I've really taken advantage and eaten much too much sugar. I just had a cup of hot chocolate from Jacques Torres, which is literally a cup of thick and delicious melted chocolate. Sadly it's way to close to my office. Anyway - after I finish my oatmeal tomorrow, which I already put some brown sugar on - that's it - no more added sugar or sugary things. I think it's best that way. I am best at cold-turkey. I can't just "reduce my intake" of things that I love....like sugar. I think generally though I've been eating pretty healthily, being conscious about protein thanks to my mom, and trying to eat salads and some balanced meals. I also used to eat a lot of frozen meals, and now I rarely do. SO....Thank GOD my yoga starts tomorrow, because I could really use a dose of the feeling that one gets after doing something good for their body!

health and eating

I find that on weekends, I sort of take a holiday from eating 100% healthy. Not everything is thrown out the window, and maybe this weekend was particularly sugary, but if I don't go out, I eat at home, and I don't have any fish here and I haven't been in a salady mood. In fact, I've been just wanting sugar. I made cookies tonight to surprise my husband and maybe to satiate my love for raw cookie dough a bit too. I am POSITIVE that I haven't gotten enough protein this weekend, so I know that tomorrow I am going to get a salad with salmon on top....and later in the week I'll get my salmon teriyaki. I just feel like weekends are lazy time! I also meant to do my prenatal yoga each day, and guess what - I didn't. Ugh. I don't think exercising at home is meant for me. I think I will research a class that I can go to - maybe even pay in advance! ha! I will do that this week. Actually, I know there is a weekend class near my house, so I will aim to try that on Saturday! Maybe if I set this goal now, it will be more likely to become reality. I just keep hearing that giving birth is like running a marathon - the amount of energy it takes and god knows I can't run a marathon now - or ever!

bigtime ups and downs

I'm 11 weeks! YAY!

Last Friday I had another doctor's appointment and it definitely had it's ups and downs. First of all, we drove there - and parking was a bitch. My husband dropped me off and continued to look for a spot, and because of that - he missed the sonogram. I apparently had the first appointment that day, and unlike our last appointment, where we waited for about 20 minutes, this time I was whisked right in. Anyway - I think I lost a pound, which I guess is ok - she didn't say anything. The sonogram was amazing. It was SO different than last time. Last time it was a blob, and this time I could definitely see a tiny baby inside of me, and it even moved! It was pretty monumental and I was sad my hubby couldn't be there. He made it in just as the doctor's appointment was ending, and just as it was my turn to give blood....A LOT of blood.

I'm pretty sure that there were about 10-12 test tubes lined up. This was the blood for all the tests like Tay-Sacks, Fragile-X, etc. This is where things went downhill. I sat down and they started taking the blood. About halfway through, I started getting woozy, so I asked if it was almost done and she said "yes, just let me know when you can't take it anymore". I did. I said I felt sick and then I said I was going to pass out, as if you've ever passed out before, you know when you're going down. SO....pass out I sure did, and they had gotten my husband who helped me walk, but I couldn't walk, so I kind of fell and he caught me and he and the 2 nurses worked together to somehow get my dead weight into an exam room to sit or lay down. I sat, and then came to. I felt fine, but they made me lay down for a while and gave me some apple juice in a juice box. My husband was telling me what happened and said he came in and I was catatonic - I guess I had mostly passed out, but my eyes remained open, which freaked him out a bit. So that was a big downer. I wasn't surprised, as when I was in 12th grade I tried to give blood and they told me to never try again as it resulted in me feeling woozy, but I don't think I passed out - I just had to lay down, drink ginger ale and eat cookies until I felt better. I guess some people just react differently when a lot of blood is taken. I don't have a fear of needles or blood, still I choose not to look, and I haven't had a problem in almost 20 years, but then again, no one since then has tried to take that much of my blood! SO........it was a BIG day!

This will be a big week, as I have a CVS test on Thursday with Dr.Wapner, who apparently is the "guru" of CVS tests, and was instrumental in the development of said test! Hopefully the removal of that fluid will go better than the removal of the blood! I hear that many people are so distracted by watching the ultrasound used to navigate the tools, that they barely notice the procedure. I'm hoping for that!

Diet & Exercise

...are 2 things I haven't been paying that much attention to yet. Fact is, prior to this I was on a diet for at least 5 years. I'm serious. I joined weight watchers about 5 years ago and lost 30 pounds. Ever since then I've been trying to lose 15 more, but I kept going up and down. So now, the fact that I can't be on a diet is a little bit of a strange concept for me to grasp, and maybe that's a good thing. I have been off and on that weight watchers diet for years, and it's really on a per-meal basis, or if I'm doing well, a per-week basis. WW at least teaches me about portion control and what healthy foods are. That being said, my point. Since I found out I am pregnant, I haven't been binging per se, but I haven't exactly been always thinking about what my healthiest choice is. I'm getting better about it, but I wish that I was making some better choices. I think I will be ok, as I am not doing any of the things I'm not supposed to do, and fried food is NOT part of my life, nor are many other crappy things. I think this magical upcoming doctor's appointment will solidify be a good eye opener for me and help me get on track to make sure I am getting enough fruits, vegetables, grains, protein, dairy etc. I also have been thinking about exercise. Prior to being pregnant, I was doing my best to walk 3 miles every Saturday, which I would like to start doing again - and ideally add another day. I have also been thinking about swimming and how nice that would be. The pools around my house are a little gross though, so we'll see. Anyway - wish me luck on my healthy quest!