Thursday, June 11, 2009

time flies!

Time is flying by SO fast. The days fly by, and the weekends do the same. I am finding it hard to find time to blog, let alone do things like pay my bills or put stuff away! I get up with Angus at 5:30 or 6:30, and he eats and we snuggle until 8am, and then he's in the care of a babysitter or my husband while I get ready for work and then leave at 8:45. It's hard to leave him, especially since I don't get home until close to 7, and that's with leaving work 30 minutes early! I don't want to think about it too much or it will make me cry. When I get home, he gets his pj's on and I start feeding him. Halfway through his feeding he gets burped and swaddled, and then eat some more and is put to be usually around 8pm. I get about 2 hours in the morning and about 1.5 hours at night. 3.5 hours a day, 17.5 hours a week. That is awful when you think about it. Why should a babysitter get to spend more time than me with my son? Now I'm thinking about it too much. Oops. I really hope that some day I can be a stay-at-home mom, but in the meantime I need my job, and I need my health insurance, so I don't have the option of staying home. If the economy was better maybe I would have quit and then found another job down the line, but it's just not possible these days. It's hard every day, but I am getting used to it. I don't know if it will ever get "better", but as he gets older I think he'll be a little less needy and easier for sitters to deal with. Right now he needs 100% full-time attention, and I worry that a babysitter will get bored and frustrated and he will just cry and be upset and whoops...there goes my brain thinking the worst. He's 4.5 months old now and just so damn cute. I want the people that look after him to be the best that they can be and I really hope that's what they are being!

1 comment:

maylily18 said...

i know! it's sooo hard. i miss my baby so much during the day. i hate that he spends so much time away from me. everyone tries to comfort me by telling me that he won't remember that i worked during this time, but it only works for a minute. i will remember, even if he doesn't. :(